Tips on how not to annoy the French during your trip to France

One of the claims that I hear over and over again, from many Israelis who have visited France, is that the French are very unkind people, at best, and evil misanthropes at worst. I must say that there is some truth to this, and I too have encountered these manifestations of antipathy during my dozens of visits to France.

However, I have two pieces of good news regarding this:

• The French are rude not only to Israelis but to anyone who is not French. Take for example the new Netflix series, Emily in Paris, a large part of whose comic situations are built on the American heroine repeatedly being accused by the French of shocking behavior bordering on misanthropy.
• Not all French people are “unnice” (as Golda Meir said). In fact, most of them are lovely people who really like to help. You just need to know how to behave and how to talk to them.

During my many visits to France, I learned that the French have a very specific code of conduct and if you follow it, you will discover their charming side (just in case, how do you say it in French? “Allah will hide it”). In this article, I will share with you some tips and insights that I have learned over the years. Each and every one of them will help you not only not to annoy the French but also to receive better service in a restaurant, in a store, and anywhere else you encounter French residents.

Be polite (bonjour is not a dirty word)

If someone were to ask me to give them one and only tip on how to behave in Paris, I would tell them: Do you want to be treated well? First of all, say “hello” with a little smile and a few polite words (preferably in French). All of these will work wonders and magically transform most French people into charming people (until they reach the beach in Netanya, but that’s another story).

All the tips that follow are certainly important, but without this basic courtesy, nothing will help.

How to order at a restaurant without annoying the waiter?

Toilets

The restaurant or cafe is not a public restroom. True, if you enter a cafe during rush hour, sneaking in alone, there is a chance that you will be able to use the restroom without the waiters noticing. However, there is certainly a significant chance that a waiter who catches you on the way to the restroom will simply throw you out of the restaurant.

What's the solution? Very simple. Order something small (like a coffee) and then go to the bathroom at your leisure.

Did you order something small? Sit outside.

If you've entered a cafe to grab a quick drink and go, never sit at a table set for a meal (unless you want the waiter to run his dogs over you).

Instead, sit at the small tables that are usually located at the front of the restaurant/cafe.

Order only if you know for sure what you want.

If the waiter asks you if you are ready to order, say “yes” only if everyone at the table knows exactly what they want. Any sign of hesitation from anyone at the table will cause the French waiter to roll his eyes, wish you all a painful death in his heart, and disappear for twenty minutes while you try in vain to get his attention.

Don't try to teach the waiter or cook their job (Ran Vardi's tip)

When you come as a customer to a cafe or restaurant, your job is to sit down, order, relax, and enjoy, not to criticize the food or the service. The waiter's job is to serve you, and that's his job, not yours. The chef's job is to cook for you, and that's his job, not yours. If you try to teach the waiter his job or criticize the chef for his work, you'll probably get reprimanded.

Want better service? Go back to the restaurant again and again (Ran Vardi's tip)

Restaurateurs in Paris often say the following sentence: “The first time you enter my restaurant – you are a stranger, the second time – you are a guest, the third time – you are part of our family,” and this sentence encapsulates much of the service experience we receive in a restaurant, without understanding the culture.

When you become a regular customer, the attitude changes, when the staff gets to know you, you become part of the extended family in terms of attitude. There are still bistros in Paris that have little drawers where regular customers leave cloth napkins to use next time. Bottom line, do you want to be treated like family? Go back and visit a restaurant that was successful again and again and become regular guests and don't remain permanent strangers in a new restaurant every time.

Looking for restaurant recommendations in Paris?

Now that you know how to behave, it's time to tell you that I've created a list of recommended restaurants, which is updated every time I visit Paris. So if you're looking for restaurants that aren't fancy (and not Michelin-starred) but have a good atmosphere, a fair price, and most importantly, delicious food, you're in the right place. You are welcome to visit the recommended restaurants page on my website..

What are you not allowed to do in shops in Paris?

It is permissible to say (politely) that now it is your turn.

The boulangerie is one of the few places where the French maintain order. However, sometimes the saleswoman misses someone and starts serving the next person. If you are missed, it is perfectly fine to tell the saleswoman that it is actually your turn (in French: en fait, c'est moi).

If you are the one who received service before the person in front of you, it is highly recommended that you draw the salesperson's attention to the fact that the person in front of you should receive service. If you don't do so, the person in front of you will complain and put your order aside while they are handling it, which will create confusion at the checkout and turn the salespeople into fire-breathing misanthropists in an instant.

You need to know how to deliver bad news.

There is a great way to annoy the French, even if you stand in line at the checkout completely passively with a polite and patient smile on your lips. If you get to the cashier and she informs you that because she has lunch after you, she is closing the checkout, you should be the bearer of bad news for those behind you, especially those joining the line.

This is a classic lose-lose situation because if you tell the French person behind you that the cash register is closing, you will be treated like most bearers of bad news. Don't do this and you will get hateful looks from those behind you right after the cashier who finished taking care of you goes on her lunch break.

Hotel tips

What to do if the room is not lit enough or noisy?

There's no point complaining that your room isn't well lit or noisy. Just request a room on one of the higher floors of the hotel in advance and you can solve both problems.

Do not leave bicycles in the stairwell.

If you rent an apartment and also a bike, never leave your bike in the stairwell. Do so and you will receive, at best, an angry note in the best passive-aggressive French language, written by a neighbor who has lived in the building for 40 years and, if he is not too old, there is a chance that he will also make sure to deflate your tires…

And speaking of hotels and vacation apartments

If you are looking for a place to stay in Paris, let me recommend the following articles:

• Recommended hotels in Paris
• Recommended vacation apartments in Paris

If you have additional tips on the subject, you are more than welcome to comment on the post and share with all of us.

Have a nice trip!

And speaking of a pleasant journey…

If you are planning to fly to Paris, I highly recommend you take a look at the guide. Paris On the site. You will find information there about 99% of the things you need (flights, hotels, monuments, museums, Itineraries etc').

If you are traveling to another French region, you are welcome to enter the guide. France And get information there about quite a few popular regions such as Brittany, Provence, Dordogne, etc.