The married life of the Duchess of Orléans

Until the 19th century, most princesses did not meet their husbands until after they were married. You must be asking yourself how it was possible to marry someone without being physically present? The answer is simple, through an institution called “marriage by proxy.” This is a ceremony in which a messenger of the intended groom would come to the princess’s city of residence and “marry” her in a state ceremony in a church. The couple would then move to the palace and lie down side by side in bed (with all the wedding guests watching).

The “groom” would touch the bare foot of the “bride” with his foot and from that moment the marriage would take effect. This type of wedding had many advantages because it allowed the economic and military contracts that were related to the marriage between two partners to be ratified, without waiting for the wedding to actually take place. Another advantage was that the intended bride and groom could not escape from each other after finding out who they were marrying…

The traumatic meeting with the Duke of Orléans

Such was the case with Philippe d'Orleans (1640-1701), the homosexual brother of Louis XIV, and his second wife Elizabeth Charlotte of the Palatinate (1652-1722 Elizabeth Charlotte de Palatine). When the bride and groom met for the first time, they both gasped in shock.

She saw a long aristocratic nose peeking out from a huge black wig, grotesque earrings, rows of rattling bracelets, ridiculously decorated trousers and huge high heels. He, on the other hand, saw before his eyes a flat, broad face, ruddy skin, tiny pig eyes and a huge German butt.

Indeed, it was undoubtedly a classic case of hate at first sight… Before you continue reading, let me recommend that you stop for a moment and listen to Rachel’s charming poem “Half a Meeting,” performed by Hanan YuvalThis way you can enjoy both a huge song and subtle irony…

Scenes from the married life of the Duchess of Orléans

From that moment on, the Duchess's married life became a continuous nightmare. Although the Duke was an avowed homosexual, he was forced to sleep with his wife in order to have an heir. In order to meet the difficult task (literally), he decided to tie medallions with images of saints to his penis… After they had a son, the couple agreed to stop sleeping with each other.

And so the Duke could return to his lovers and leave the medallions of the saints in the drawer. The Duchess of Orleans did not mind this at all, but what did bother her a lot was the fact that the Duke made sure to distribute all her jewelry and clothes to his lovers. For example, the Duchess caught her husband in her room one day while he was taking all the silverware she had received from Heidelberg without even leaving her the small box in which she kept her handkerchiefs…

While Philip was exceptionally generous with his lovers, he was almost morbidly stingy with his wife. Thus, while he distributed large sums of money among his various lovers, his wife and children were reduced to near starvation and had to beg for shirts or sheets.

This is also a way to communicate.

It is therefore not surprising that the couple hardly spoke to each other. The Duchess of Orléans told in her letter to the Duchess Sophia of Hanover of one dinner during which she and her husband did not exchange a word for several hours. After an eternity of silence, the Duke rose from his chair, let out a loud fart, turned to his wife and asked her, “Did you want to tell me something, Madame?”

The Duchess of Nonnat turned her back on him and let out a fart of her own. “That’s exactly what I wanted to tell you, Monsieur,” the Duchess told him. Their son Philippe, the future regent of Louis XV, who was present at the meal, told his parents, “If that’s what you can say to each other, then I can do it better than either of you.” You can imagine what he did immediately afterwards…

This unhappy marriage ended in 1701 with the death of Philippe of Orléans from a stroke. According to the marriage contract, Elisabeth was to be sent to a convent, but she managed to convince Louis XIV to keep her at court and even receive a generous pension.

Now she finally didn’t have to beg anyone when she wanted to buy underwear. She died at the age of 70, leaving us with a collection of letters written in lucid language that describe the king’s court at Versailles from her unique perspective (for example, Madame de Maintenon, the king’s last mistress and second wife, appears there as “the old witch”). And if you want to meet the Duke and Duchess of Orléans, you are invited to see the film “A little Chaos,” which although deals with the story of the gardens of Versailles, the two couples make cameo appearances.